Yeah, I know who fucking painted The Last Supper

Day 20 Friday September 27 Vernazza

Vernazza is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen in my entire life. I am so glad we came here.

This morning we were up early, which was nice because we got to have breakfast in peace before the hordes of tourists came in on the train.

The day was really just eating, coffee, gelato, siesta, pizza, more gelato, pizza, croissant, more gelato, pizza, you get the idea.

We did a lot of awesome people watching, too. Making comments like:

Kris: Look at those gay guys with that chihuahua.
Katie: They look so rough are you stew they’re gay?
Kris: They’re rolling with a fucking chihuahua. C’mon.

Kris: That girl was kinda hot.
Katie: Her friend was frumperific.
Kris: She had a cute face though.
Katie: I didn’t see her face. Just her high waist line.

Katie: Look at that gut chewing on his hoodie strings. He looks like a fucking crack head.

Katie: Are you tired of me? Do you wanna ditch me?
Kris: Why do you confound me with your retarded thoughts?

Kris: Wanna go?
Katie: No, I’m not quite ready yet.
(several minutes later) Kris: I would just like you to be aware that I’m incredibly fucking thirsty.

Katie: C’mere, kitty. Look over here! Do you think this cat’s gonna look at me?
Kris: No. It’s not. It’s a cat. It’s gonna do whatever the fuck it wants.

At one point we hiked a little ways up one of the trails so we could take some pictures:

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We also hiked up to the top of this castle, which had even more spectacular views.

And walked through a little cave to get another part of the beach, which was covered with the most beautiful rocks.

When we were up in our room later I asked Kris, “So, what’s there to do in Milan tomorrow?” He said, “Well – you can reserve a 15 minute spot to see The Last Supper. That’s painted by Leonardo Da Vinci.” Katie, “Yeah, I know who fucking painted The Last Supper.” Kris, “Well I don’t know! Sometimes you don’t know shit!”

Brilliant Ass Washing Machine

Day 19 Thursday, September 26 Tuscany & Vernazza

This morning Kris said, “It sucks I’m on a night time poop schedule.” I said, “I’m mostly in the morning, but later morning, so kinda back to normal. But it’s no poop alarm clock, that’s for sure.”

Alexandra drove us to catch our bus to Grosetto. We had a very sweet goodbye.

We stumbled into a fucking fantastic place in Grosetto where we had two perfect lattes, two croissants and two sandwiches – one was a croissant with salami and cheese, the other was focaccia bread with cream cheese, arugala and prosciutto. Both were fucking to die for. We hit the grocery store for train snacks and then set off for Vernazza. These were taken from the train:

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After a two hour ride we got off and were in the fucking land of retard tourists. It was literally an elbow to elbow sea of retards getting off the train. For a second I was like….ohmygod – am I in Honolulu again? Is this going to be so not worth it?

But, thank fuck, it totally was. Vernazza’s amazingness way makes up for the load of idiots that are constantly roaming the streets.

Our hotel was super adorable – the Pensione Sorriso. Bed was super comfy and the shared bathroom was totally cute and clean and we never had to wait. Plus, we had a sink in our room so we both mostly peed in the sink, reserving the community bathroom for pooping and showers.

View from our room, and a little outdoor shower on the deck:

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We immediately set out for gelato, which was easy to find as there is basically only one street to the town. There were 3 gelato spots in town and we tried them all that afternoon and then just lounged by the water.

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We hiked up the hill and had dinner on a cliff side over looking the water. Our waiter was so fucking hot. He put his hand on my shoulder. My left shoulder. He squeezed it.

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Kris pooped after we got home and I asked him, “Did you wash your ass in that awesome bidet?” Kris: Well of course I did! Why would I waste an opportunity with a brilliant ass washing machine?