Breakfast in London, Dinner in Dublin

Day 32 Wednesday October 9th London & Dublin

This morning we walked through Greenwich Park and had lunch at a lovely french cafe before flying to Dublin:

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Our airbnb hosts in Dublin were fantastic- they are super into natural health and healing and we had a lot to talk about.

That night we had dinner at a totally classic Dublin pub. It was dark lit by candles and fireplaces, there was a beautiful wood bar, big chandeliers, it was way cool. The food was fantastic: Guinness pie and seafood chowder. And Kris had a house brewed beer:

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My boo can’t go out without a smooth ballsack

Day 31 Tuesday October 8th London

Today I felt good enough to get off the couch which I did because I wasn’t about to spend another day in London inside the house.

We walked to the other side of Greenwich Park and had breakfast at this super cute place called The Green Cafe. I had the best bowl of porridge I’ve ever had in my life.

Then we went home so that Kris could trim his ballsack and generally groom himself.

Once the smooth sack was attained we hopped on a bus and went into central London. We wandered around for a while and then went down this teeny tiny street and then turned down this alley way where a really cute looking pub was. I had another super tasty meal. It was a Yorkshire pudding filled with grilled veggies and cheese topped with bernaise sauce.

After dinner we walked along the Thames all the way up to Westminster Abbey and took some really fun picutres along the way:

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(Greenwich Park)

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(London Eye)

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(Westminster Abbey & Big Ben)

We decided to take a boat back home instead of the bus and that was really awesome!

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(Tower Bridge, as seen from the boat ride)

It took all the washing powder and it fucked off

Day 6 Friday, September 13 Manchester

11am stumble out of bed. james is making us coffee and eggs on toast for breakfast. he calls ketchup “tomato sauce”. funny.

12pm James leaves for work for a few hours and we have some delightful alone time.

2pm head out and about for groceries for lunch. james pointed us to a great market called The Co-op. Some things here are super cheap like tea, bread, milk, and most prepared food in the grocery store. Something are normal (to us) priced like butter, meat, cheese. And some things are way expensive like produce and alcohol.

3pm back home to heat up our soup and bread. kris picked out a pretzel and some twisty cheese roll. they were both fucking amazing. the freshest best bread ever. immediately after lunch we went back to the same store for more twisty cheese rolls.

4pm wandering around town. Manchester is a busy city with a lot to do and see. people are very nice here. everyone is friendly and talks to you. like, if you bump into someone, they say excuse me. the hosts and waitresses in all the restaurants and coffee shops are so cute and chatty. everyone seems happy and they’re all pleasant and funny. but not in a robotic rehearsed kind of way. in a human kind of way. there seems like almost no barrier between cashiers/servers/shop keepers, etc and “customers”. i really like that.

5:30pm back home and james is back from work shortly after. we all hang out and chat for a couple of hours and I took almost a whole page of notes of funny things that were said:

Kris: Do they still play football if it’s raining?
James: Of course. Fuckin thunder, lightening, yeah. This is fuckin proper football.

James: It’s cozy in here with yous guys here. Usually it’s just me and my mate, just a couple of idiots, watchin telly, talkin shit.

James calls the University part of town “The student-y bit” and he says “mental” a lot.

He describes himself and two friends arriving in a bad part of L.A. with tons of black people everywhere. He says, “I imagined all the black guys playing basketball thinking – look at these flies, walkin into the spiders web.”

James describes a friend of his who works in a bar and gets him discounted drinks. A bit later he says, “We’ll go down to the pub soon, the one where my friend works.” I said, “Oh – the half off man-woman?”

Kris: Why is the light switch on the outside of the bathroom? I mean anybody could just walk by and fuck with you while you’re taking a shit.
James: Yep. They’re in charge of your destiny.

James’ washer is being funky and not working. We turned it on, and he went to check it a bit later. Kris asked, “What’s going on? Is it washing?” and James said, “Nope. It’s only dressed the bottom half. It took all the washing powder and it fucked off.”

Kris: How come it’s one penny, but two pence? And what are these two outlets over? They don’t do anything and they look strange.
James: Well fucking hell. He’s fuckin upset with everything – the electric, the plumbing, the telly….

James, on a girl he’s trying to get with: I’ve only gotten her drunk and made her laugh. I don’t think she knows yet that I’m not that good looking….

We were joking around about sex and I made some comment about Kris having a 4 inch penis (HE DOESN’T!)

Some hours later James goes to the bathroom and Kris says, in a total valley girl voice, “Why’d you say I hada 4 inch dick? Guys are sensitive about that stuff.”

James calls it a “wank bank” instead of a “spank bank”

Kris, on British actresses: So far, they’ve all been frumperific.

Kris also frequently notes how many extra words British people use. Examples:
“Sorry, not in service” (seen on a bus)
“This way to pay” (sign in a department store point to the cash registers)
“Way out” instead of “exit”
“Hot snacks pick up point” (sign at a cafeteria style cafe)
“Of which is saturated” (seen on an ingredients label, instead of just “saturated fat”)

Also, stuff like this:

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Kris and I were talking about sex and James, from his bedroom, yells “Are ya talkin bout poundin?”

A bit later we watched this hilarious reality show. The premise is a guy and 3 random girls. The guy goes to each girls house and she cooks him dinner. After he’s had dinner with all 3 of them, he picks the one he likes the best by showing up at her door for dinner at a predetermined day and time. But all 3 girls are given the same day and time – they don’t know if they’re going to open the door and see the guy there to “pick them” and take them out to dinner, or if they’re going to find a microwave meal for 1 chosen by the guy and left for them. Kris thinks it’s sexist, but James points out that they do it the other way too – having a girl and 3 guys and all the guys cook for her and she picks at the end.

The guy and the 3 girls on this particular episode were so unattractive! We were all ripping them apart with our commentary. I said, “Look at her teeth! She looks like a mouse….not that he’s that good looking either….” and James said, “Yeah…..he’s a bit of a shit head, huh?”

At some point the three of us went back out to the store for food for dinner to bring back and make at home. As James was checking out he called the cashier “honey” 3 or 4 times and she called him “love” 3 or 4 times. Isn’t that funny? “Honey” in the U.S. is almost condescending for a random man to call a random woman like that. But here it’s just purely polite and affectionate. So cute.

Later on James took us pub hopping. The first one was where his friend gave his cheap drinks. I had a delicious hard cider and Kris and James were scoping out the girls with the colored hair. I asked why they both liked that and they both agreed that “girls with colored hair are down to fuck.” and I said I bet they loved that reputation.

We sat there for a while people watching and chatting and then moved on to a few other places, having a drink in each. They were all playing really fun disco music and I loved it. At the third bar we were in I finally got to do a proper photo bomb! I’ve always wanted to do that. I was standing right near a group of 4 people who stood up with their arms around each other while another friend took their picture. I popped up behind them, right in between two of their heads, and I’m sure I looked like a complete freak. They didn’t notice at the time, but I’m sure when they look at it tomorrow they’ll laugh.

We went back home around 12:30 and James invited a friend of his over. She was really fun and we all hung out for a couple of hours in the living room, before going to bed around 3 in the morning.