Was it cat sex or was it a human noise?

Our friend Ben sleeps over sometimes and we always have fun and say great things.

Ben: Katie, you’re like a pornographic cartoon character.

Katie: But this isn’t pornographic.

Ben: I k now. but you’re not wholesome enough to be in a regular cartoon. You’re rhetoric would have to be censored and that’s just not possible.


Kris: You’re like a cat.

Katie: Oh yeah? Well – you’re like a dog. That rapes cats.


(this said after Kris amazingly avoided me smacking his ballsack)

Ben: Damn, Kris was like a ninja. He’s Captain Reflex.

Kris: She beats my balls all the goddamn time. I’m always lookin out for them.


(Kris on being confused by wanting to be fucked in the ass by a real penis even though he can’t jerk off the gay scenarios)

Kris: I tried jerking off to that scenario, but I couldn’t do it. Had to switch to the females, so…I don’t know.

Ben: Well, that’s ok. You’re not gay. You’re not like into dudes. You are a heterosexual man that just wants to feel a real live flesh dick in his ass. You don’t want to like make out with the guy.


Ben: I just want to inspire the idea that you don’t have to take a path that’s been paved or laid out for you.

Katie: Right. You really can have exactly what you want.


Ben: May I get the tray of offerings?

Kris: Yeah, if you know where it is.

Ben: I do.

Ben (5 minutes later) I retract my statement about knowing where it is……


Kris: What was that noise?

Katie: Was it cat sex or was it a human noise?

Ben: I think it was chickens.

Kris: Chickens aren’t awake right now.

Katie: Doesn’t mean they won’t squawk when someones eatin’ em. Could be a saw, too.

Kris: Open the door so we can hear better.

Ben: No, just listen. Shhh!


Katie: Ok, yeah. It’s either an elephant or a circular saw.

Kris: Well i guess it’s an elephant then. Who the fuck would be using circular saw at this hour?


Katie: Bwahahahahahahahha! I was trying to tap Ben’s taint and got his butthole. My aim is off because Kriss taint is so above averagely large.