This morning was Kris’ birthday. We had a bichin snuggle sesh and then I got up and made bacon and eggs. Unfortunately the bees fucking LOVE our maple bacon. So I had my breakfast in a dish and ate it standing up flapping the bees away. Kris said, “How ya eatin when you’re flappin like that? C’mon, sit down.” And I said, “Fuck you. I’ll flap if I want to.” Soon after we packed up and hit the road for Bryce, a two hour drive.
Danielle: I had this epiphany – there’s no fuckin smells in the city ‘cept shit.
Katie: I’m full of bacon and carbonated water.
Kris: Oh yeah. I wanna fuck the bacon right outta ya. Have maple flavored sex.
Danielle: Dude. The Mormon weirdness around here…..I can’t get over it.
Kris: Well….we are in Utah.
Daniele: Oh yeah. I fuckin forgot we’re in Utah…totally spaced that out.
The drive to Bryce flew by. We didn’t have camping reservations, but there was plenty of open spots. We spent time cruising both campgrounds until we found the perfect spot: close to the bathrooms, neighbors that weren’t on top of us, and close to a place to wash dishes. After we got settled we went to get ice at the general store and walked around back to check out the gold coin operated showers. Kris had checked out the coin machine so I asked, “Did ya check out the coin machine? How as it? What did it look like?” Kris: “It looked like a fuckin coin machine.”
We went back to camp and had some lunch, hopped on the free shuttle and walked along the rim of the canyon. Kris was making strange noises so I looked back and asked, “Are you ok?” He said, “I just had to adjust my strap on my camelbak. It was too tight on my breath box.”
After the rim we went to walk to the waterfall and the mossy cave. I had to pee, but the bathroom over there was a black hole. I don’t pee or poo or sit on for any reason receptacles where I can’t see the bottom. I’d rather go outside. As I walked back down Kris exclaimed, “I wana call you two d-train and k-bot” And so he did.
Bryce was seriously fucking cold – way different than Zion. We bundled up and put the propane heater in our tent. Danielle said “I am SO into my pants.” And later said, “I am not into problems.”