Was it cat sex or was it a human noise?

Our friend Ben sleeps over sometimes and we always have fun and say great things.

Ben: Katie, you’re like a pornographic cartoon character.

Katie: But this isn’t pornographic.

Ben: I k now. but you’re not wholesome enough to be in a regular cartoon. You’re rhetoric would have to be censored and that’s just not possible.

*****************

Kris: You’re like a cat.

Katie: Oh yeah? Well – you’re like a dog. That rapes cats.

*****************

(this said after Kris amazingly avoided me smacking his ballsack)

Ben: Damn, Kris was like a ninja. He’s Captain Reflex.

Kris: She beats my balls all the goddamn time. I’m always lookin out for them.

*********

(Kris on being confused by wanting to be fucked in the ass by a real penis even though he can’t jerk off the gay scenarios)

Kris: I tried jerking off to that scenario, but I couldn’t do it. Had to switch to the females, so…I don’t know.

Ben: Well, that’s ok. You’re not gay. You’re not like into dudes. You are a heterosexual man that just wants to feel a real live flesh dick in his ass. You don’t want to like make out with the guy.

***********

Ben: I just want to inspire the idea that you don’t have to take a path that’s been paved or laid out for you.

Katie: Right. You really can have exactly what you want.

*********

Ben: May I get the tray of offerings?

Kris: Yeah, if you know where it is.

Ben: I do.

Ben (5 minutes later) I retract my statement about knowing where it is……

*********

Kris: What was that noise?

Katie: Was it cat sex or was it a human noise?

Ben: I think it was chickens.

Kris: Chickens aren’t awake right now.

Katie: Doesn’t mean they won’t squawk when someones eatin’ em. Could be a saw, too.

Kris: Open the door so we can hear better.

Ben: No, just listen. Shhh!

(silence)

Katie: Ok, yeah. It’s either an elephant or a circular saw.

Kris: Well i guess it’s an elephant then. Who the fuck would be using circular saw at this hour?

*********

Katie: Bwahahahahahahahha! I was trying to tap Ben’s taint and got his butthole. My aim is off because Kriss taint is so above averagely large.

My boo can’t go out without a smooth ballsack

Day 31 Tuesday October 8th London

Today I felt good enough to get off the couch which I did because I wasn’t about to spend another day in London inside the house.

We walked to the other side of Greenwich Park and had breakfast at this super cute place called The Green Cafe. I had the best bowl of porridge I’ve ever had in my life.

Then we went home so that Kris could trim his ballsack and generally groom himself.

Once the smooth sack was attained we hopped on a bus and went into central London. We wandered around for a while and then went down this teeny tiny street and then turned down this alley way where a really cute looking pub was. I had another super tasty meal. It was a Yorkshire pudding filled with grilled veggies and cheese topped with bernaise sauce.

After dinner we walked along the Thames all the way up to Westminster Abbey and took some really fun picutres along the way:

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(Greenwich Park)

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(London Eye)

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(Westminster Abbey & Big Ben)

We decided to take a boat back home instead of the bus and that was really awesome!

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(Tower Bridge, as seen from the boat ride)