“You’re so easy to love”
We say that to each other.
We’ve each been married, divorced, dated hollow bitches, and heartless dudes.
Sure, we’ve changed. We’re both older, the things that are important to us are much more simple.
But also – loving each other is easy. Such a simple concept that was lost on me for so long.
I thought it had to be hard
You had to break through somebody’s shell
You had to break down their barriers
You had to work hard to make them feel safe
You had to show them you aren’t like the others
You had to coax them
Convince them even
Because that was commitment. That was love. That was “seeing this thing thru”.
But it’s not.
It’s trying too hard
It’s pushing someone who’s not ready
It’s wanting to heal someone who doesn’t want to heal themselves
It’s thinking that’s what you deserve
That they’re the best you can do
That this is just how it is
But it can be easy.
If it’s right, it’s easy
If you’re where you’re supposed to be, it’s easy
If you’re meant for each other, it’s easy
If your hearts match, it’s easy
Every night before bed we ask each other: Did you feel loved today? And – was there a time you loved me?
Even on the most mundane days, the boring days, the days we fight, the days that suck – there is always something.
I really felt loved when you made the coffee this morning
I really loved you when you came up behind me at the kitchen sink
I really felt loved when you brought me that awesome sandwich
I really loved you when you cleaned our disgusting bathroom
I really felt loved when you groped my crotch in the elevator
I really loved you when you put on New Girl, even though I know you’re sick of it
You’re so easy to love.