This: to witness the cocoon, the molting, the emergence
This is right where I am. So, as per usual, I’m going to tell you a story.
I haven’t worked for anyone else in 10 years, since I was 21. Working for myself has shifted a lot over the years – I follow what interests me as well as doing what comes easy – I don’t think we have to work hard. That’s a total lie. So if something isn’t coming easy I just leave it sitting there and shift my focus to something else. It’s easy to know where to shift your focus if you’re highest priority is happiness. Just do what makes you happy. Simple as that.
So for the last few years I have been honing my blogging and started podcasting and putting ebooks on Amazon and continue to build those audiences. I really feel like I’m on the verge of extreme success and the last few months I’ve started owning it. Telling people that I am nuturing my passive income streams and my ultimate goal is to be financially abundant.
This is where it gets interesting.
On Saturday my dad came over before he left town to drop off a drum set for me to borrow (I’m pretty fucking sure I’m a drummer, but that’s a whole other story). My dad drives a semi truck and takes long haul loads so he’s generally gone about 6 weeks at a time. We set up the drums and then he wanted to go for a bike ride. I thought – that’s adorable. We went on a long bike ride and then randomly stopped at a cafe for some treats and ended up sitting there for two hours. It takes a while for my dad to start talking about real stuff, but he did that night. For the first time I really explained to him what I was doing with my work and with my plan to make loads of money. I told him that he didn’t have to worry and I’d take care of him when he was old. We also talked about boundary issues that he has with his siblings and nieces and nephews asking him for money all the time. I told him how he really needs to stop and think about what it was all for and consider that he was enabling them versus actually helping them. And we talked a lot about health – he was asking me all kinds of questions about why I grind my flour and grind my coffee fresh and the concept of foods being alkaline or acidic and all kinds of cool stuff. Then later that night he went home to prepare to leave the next morning.
His trailer had recently broken so he was leaving in the morning to drive his truck up to Montana to pick up a new trailer.
And then the next day I got the news that he had been in a terrible accident. I talked to him on the phone and he said he was having surgery the next day and that he’d call me and let me know how it went. I said, “Umyeahrightseeyouinsixhoursbye”.
I have been feeling like I am about to go thru a huge shift.
Maybe my dad was too.
I mean – first his trailer breaks, and then he wrecks his semi on his way to pick up a new trailer? I think that’s fucking God’s way of saying, “Hey man – maybe stop truckin’. Maybe just get a relaxed job and spend more time at home and get healthier and enjoy life.”
That’s what I think anyway.
Maybe we’ll be father and daughter, transitioning into the next phases of our lives, side by side.
Maybe my dad’s accident is the big event that’s going to mark the shift into extreme success.
I had been feeling like something big was going to happen that was going to catapult me into “the next phase”.
I certainly did not want it to be something this but how weird that I told my dad, “Don’t worry I’m going to make lots of money and I’ll take care of you when you’re old.” and here I am, on the verge of bringing my dad home with me to recover at my house so I can take care of him.
Also this: “the wrong turn, the direction you’re headed in”
I think the concept of wrong turns are a load of shit. There’s no right way or wrong way. There’s the way you fucking go and that’s where you are. And you can either embrace change, or you can continue fighting to “get back to normal”.