“I love you, Agent Booth.”

1. I am sitting…in a cushy porch chair with my feet up on the matching ottoman. Someone gave them to us after they upgraded their porch furniture last year. There’s two chairs and two ottomans and we put a little table in the middle for our coffee cups because we sit out here every single morning while we drink our hot beverages. Every day – wake up, snuggle, poop, make hot bevvies, greet the morning from these chairs on our front porch – me: a loose leaf black tea, splash of milk, spoon of honey. Him: a perfectly made latte, or a bulletproof french press if we’re out of milk. And I live in Phoenix so right now at this moment the sun is shining and it’s 65 degrees.

2. Last night…I went to my friend Kelly’s house to look through her mountain of clothing. She is having sort of a midlife crisis. She is approaching 50 and keeps talking about death and time running out. 50 doesn’t sound that old to me, but then again – I’m not 50. I’ll be 31 tomorrow. But Kelly is super hot and feisty and has loads of time to do all the amazing things she wants to do, in addition too all the great shit she’s already done, in my humble opinion. She’s shedding layers and getting rid of everything she owns so she can travel. Which I benefit from because we wear the same size shoe. I came home with a massive trash bag full of treasures to my boyfriend snuggled out the couch watching what I gathered was a very fucking exciting football game, along with our super butch couch surfer, Jan. Jan is 60 something and has a partially shaved head, the gruff voice of a smoker, big man-hands, and talks about how, when she goes to the middle east, she refers to herself as a Quaker because if she said “Documentary Film Maker” it could get her killed because, ISIS. She’s really intense and very funny – from Atlanta with glimpses of her southern Baptist upbringing coming through sometimes.

3. When I woke up today… I thought thank fuck it’s not raining because I had planned a birthday celebration in the park. Though I had put a disclaimer in the event invite saying that if God pooped on my plan with rain that I did have a plan B. Though I like my Plan A better: gather in the park with our adult coloring books, then take a sunset walk to some fantastic downtown restaurant, then back to my house for a viewing of Magic Mike XL. Maybe stop at Valley Bar in between dinner and Magic Mike, maybe not. I might be just that anxious to see Channing Tatum dance around. I always feel so hip and trendy when I take people to Valley Bar who have never been there. It’s one of those places with no signage at all so you just have to know. You enter through some random door in an alley and then walk down a dark stair case to a basement, have your ID checked and then enter. It’s a massive underground playground. There’s a “secret library room”, lots of small dark wood booths, tons of fancy cocktails, ski ball, pool tables and shit loads of board games.

4. Here’s hoping… my adorable boyfriend’s Tinder date is going well. He actually matched with someone recently and was so adorably excited about it since he never does. They messaged and effortlessly set up a coffee date this morning. I think it has good potential and she sounds really super cool. Unlike his last Tinder date where the girl seemed cool, but ended up just hawking up phlemg and taking huge bong hits the whole time.

5. I might as well…make another cup of tea and watch Bones since I’m home alone and have been thinking about David Boreanez since I woke up this morning. I had a dream about him last week where I was doing all kinds of classic female nurturing shit for him like doing his laundry and making him food in an attempt to soften his heart so I could get him in a really vulnerable place, after which I whispered in his ear, “I love you, Agent Booth.”


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