He’s just lookin for some deer pussy

Day 23 Monday, September 30th Copenhagen

Today I had a fucking near death experience coming face to face with a horny male deer. I had read about this park in Denmark that is fantastic for deer watching – particularly from mid September to the 1st week of October. How perfect is that? So, we thought a lovely start to our day would be to check out this fucking park, obviously having no idea that it would be a death trap.

It started out as a beautiful woodsy park. We saw a cute little deer off in the distance eating grass. Another deer by the path just hanging out. It was amazing to see so many deer up close like that! I have never seen anything like it.

And then – the roar. OHMYGOD the roar of a horny deer will haunt my dreams forever. We’re just walking along, like a couple of dopey tourists, taking pictures of the cute ass deer when out of nowhere this HUGEASS deer with the most gigantic horns I’ve ever seen in my life starts roaring and running around. Running towards the female deers, sure. But also running across our walking path and totally making eye contact with the humans. I was just not having it. My boyfriend went closer than I did. Plus, he just wanted to get to the restaurant, which was farther into the park. But this involved crossing the path of the horny deer. No fucking way. I took this video (http://youtu.be/lKERsYJPLPs) which doesn’t even come close to capturing the roaring.

Kris kept trying to get me to calm down saying things like:
He’s just trying to ascertain humans from deers
He’s just lookin for some deer pussy
He just wants to drop some seed

None of that worked.

Eventually the bull deer ran off deep into the park and hopefully got laid and calmed the fuck down. At the other end of the park we came to this really beautiful old amusement park. It was closed for the season, but was totally open so you could walk through it. It was a little eerie walking through a totally lifeless amusement park like that. But it was really cool.

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Later on Kris commented about the dog shit situation. Denmark is super clean and orderly, but there is dog shit everywhere. Strange. We passed a little girl on the street and I said, “Oh my god she’s so cute!” Kris said, “Yeah. She was Danish as fuck.”

Later on we were arguing and it prompted him to say, “I’m going to take a shit on your face while you’re sleeping.”

I was rambling on and on about something and I said, “Do you sometimes wish I had an off switch?” He said, “No! Of course not.” Then a few minutes later he said, “Well, if you had an off switch – I’d turn you off and fuck you in your ass.”

We had dinner back at the house with Klaus and his 5 roommates. They are all in their super early 20s and live in this big stylish house that’s decorated really nice and has great furniture and is very clean and orderly. They all take turns cooking and share meals every night and live in such harmony together. You would just never see a group of 20 something guys living like that in the U.S.

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